Ben Youngs, a rugby legend, opens up about his journey, revealing a side of himself that many may not have known.
A Tale of Resilience and Guilt
Ben Youngs, with a remarkable 127 caps for England and four World Cup appearances, shares a story that goes beyond the rugby field. While his sister-in-law battled blood cancer and his brother-in-law faced motor neurone disease, Youngs played on, feeling a sense of guilt for his success amidst their struggles.
"It was a constant battle," he says, describing the emotional toll. "I had to put on a brave face, but the reality was a constant check-in on their well-being."
The Breaking Point
The turning point came when Steve Borthwick, his club coach, left him out of the England squad for the 2023 World Cup opener. Youngs, overwhelmed with emotion, broke down, questioning his worth and the lack of empathy shown by those around him.
"I felt like I was carrying a heavy burden alone," he confesses.
A Coach's Empathy
In contrast, Youngs praises Eddie Jones, who, he says, "made me feel like a champion." Jones' approach, which included genuine interest in his players' lives beyond rugby, is what Youngs believes sets him apart.
"With Eddie, it was always about the person first, and then the rugby."
The Coach Conundrum
But here's where it gets controversial: Youngs' assessment of other coaches paints a different picture. He criticizes Borthwick for his perceived lack of empathy and one-dimensional rugby style.
"I never felt like I could have an open dialogue with him. It was always about the data and the gameplan, with little room for personal connection."
Despite this, Youngs acknowledges Borthwick's strengths, stating, "He's a good coach, but the human element was missing."
A Call for Change
Youngs' book also proposes a vision for the future of rugby, suggesting changes to make the sport more appealing and accessible. He advocates for reducing teams to 14 players and doing away with half-time breaks, among other innovative ideas.
"Rugby needs to evolve to stay relevant," he asserts.
The Power of Connection
In retirement, Youngs finds solace in the women's game, praising its entertainment value and potential for growth. He believes in the power of connection, both on and off the field, and hopes that rugby can learn from its best characters, like himself and Dan Cole, to create a more inclusive and engaging sport.
"It's about the love for the game and the people in it."
A New Beginning
As he reflects on his career, Youngs seems to find peace, acknowledging his achievements with a smile.
"I'm getting there," he says, suggesting a journey towards self-acceptance and pride in his remarkable rugby legacy.
